Kristen Bell on Dax Shepard: people don’t realize ‘our marriage takes a lot of work’

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Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are both extra, and they’re extra together. It’s admirable that they’re so open and honest about their personal issues including past substance abuse on Dax’s part as well as Kristen’s history of depression and social anxiety, for which she takes medication. They’ve also been open about the fact that they go to couples counseling together, with Kristen comparing it to working out with a trainer at the gym. So when Kristen admits that her marriage takes work it’s nothing new from these two. To people with a passing interest in gossip it may sound like a harbinger of doom for their relationship, but this isn’t new from them. Kristen spoke to US at a charity event, and she was rather candid.

Their marriage takes work and Dax needs a lot of attention
“Our marriage took a lot of work, takes a lot of work. I don’t think people realize,” [Bell] exclusively told Us in NYC on Wednesday, August 9. “It is not easy to work around another human being, but if you commit to it, you can pretty much permanently respect that person, but then it doesn’t really matter if you disagree because you still respect that person. But on a daily basis, he just makes me laugh all the time. He’s obsessed with attention, so he’s constantly making jokes to try to get me to give him more attention or to get me to giggle. And you know, he was a stand up comedian, so I’m living with a comedian.”

They disagree on 90 percent of issues but respect is important
“I do disagree with him on 90 percent of the issues on the planet,” she said. “But we have really wonderful, intense valued conversations about things, and I always see his point, even if I disagree. It’s hard to do.”

“It’s all about contempt. Never roll your eyes at someone,” she told Us. “You might as well break up right then because its contempt. I’m telling you — I disagree with him on almost everything, but I have intense respect for his critical thinking skills and the fact that we were raised differently. I always see his point. I do not and will not ever have contempt for him.”

[From US Magazine]

This reminded me briefly of when Ben Affleck thanked Jennifer Garner in his Oscar acceptance speech for “working on our marriage for ten Christmases” except I should note that Kristen and Dax do this together, it’s not a one-sided thing where one person is working on it. In an interview that Kristen had with Good Housekeeping in 2015, Dax popped in when Kristen was talking about therapy and said that he loved couples therapy and didn’t understand the stigma around it. So these are two people admitting they get on each others’ nerves but committing to respecting each other and doing so with humor. I don’t know if I could stay with someone whom I didn’t agree with on 90% of the issues as she claims. I mean I doubt they’re talking about the big issues like religion, politics and science/climate change. They both are liberal. Maybe they’re talking about child care issues. Also I’ve heard that point she makes that rolling your eyes and expressing contempt to your partner will end your relationship. I used to do that to my ex all the time.


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