July’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is…..

gorgeousdivingboardbrows

The spectacular diving board brows that snatched away every spotlight from Jabba the Trump during his press conference on healthcare!

When July’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown started, I prayed to the Hot Slut gods to make it a tie between the show-stealing bug antenna brows of my dreams and the First Lady of Japan. It was close for a quick second, but in the end, the title went to the perfect pair of long division brows that every math teacher should paint on their faces if they want their students to take them seriously as an authority on arithmetic. If Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting was a chola, not only would he be a zillion times more interesting, but he’d have brows like that.

Last month, the gorgeous garden hoe brows on the face of an “Obamacare victim” became the only good thing that Jabba the Trump has ever given. As he caca’d at the mouth about healthcare, those brows caught the attention of every pair of eyes watching. And this month, those same stunning brows earned the most votes from you hos and is now our reigning Hot Slut of the Month. The brows that perfectly expressed our feelings about Trump got 36% of the votes, beating out the first lady of my heart, Akie Abe (31%), Elishaly D’witshes (21%) and the Air Peddling Husky (12%). If we don’t get nuked to Jesus by January (Side note: those brows will survive the nuclear war and live forever), those brows will battle it out in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals. And now let’s all raise a fine point Sharpie and salute our new HSOTM!

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: YouTube/Dreamstime

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