This story is getting more play than I ever expected, and by that, I mean I’m surprised at myself for being so invested in the love life of the annoying one from Girls (I know, they’re all annoying…but the really annoying one, you know??). Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff broke up only a few weeks ago, but it quickly came out he had moved on pretty quickly and she kinda hadn’t. There were rumors that he might be humping on Lorde, which would have been the source of some delightful passive aggression at Taylor Swift’s next squad soiree, but that’s no longer the case. He’s dating a model!
UsWeekly reports Jack is dating artist and model Carlotta Kohl.
Jack Antonoff is dating model Carlotta Kohl after Lena Dunham split https://t.co/DWKCSk2fR5
— Us Weekly (@usweekly) January 28, 2018
It was only a week ago that Jack was getting pissy with the media’s “hetero normative” gossip. Now, he ends up doing THE most heteronormative Hollywood thing EVER by boinking a model. Somewhere, Leonardo DiCaprio is pouring a scotch and drafting a membership welcome letter to his Pussy Posse. Jack was spotted with the model at dinner last week in New York’s East Village. During his gossip poo-pooing, Jack claimed he was not seeing anyone, but there were rumors he was dating a musician. While not exactly a musician, Carlotta does have famous ties to the industry: she was the butt model on the cover of St. Vincent’s Masseducation.
This is a real shame. Jack, a TSwift collaborator and friend, breaking up with Lena, a TSwift friend, to go for Lorde, a TSwift friend, would have been SO much more amusing. Imagine Lena showing up with the Fourth of July cake next year, only when she took the aluminum foil off the top, the strawberries weren’t arranged like the stars and stripes. Instead, they just read, “FUCK YOU SINGING SLUTS!” I guess he’s just an ass man. Zzzz.