Hot Slut Of The Day!

ivanttobiteyourfingerboardgame

The vampire from I Vant To Bite Your Finger!

When I was a kid, my dad, who smoked cigars, thought it would be hilarious to ask me to stick my finger through a cigar cutter. I didn’t know what a cigar cutter was, so I’d stick my finger in it every single time, and every time I did, he’d laugh, laugh and laugh. I never knew why he was laughing. I later learned that sick asshole was laughing over me possibly losing my goddamn little finger to a cigar cutter. What is the statute of limitations on child abuse? Because to this day, I can’t finger a b-hole without worrying about it eating my finger. I blame my father for that. I bring up that traumatic childhood flashback, because today’s HSOTD made me think of it.

I was Hasbro’s demographic for the 1980s board game I Vant To Bite Your Finger, because I was totally the kind of kid who’d say, “Put my finger in a vampire’s mouth? Errr, durr, sure, okay!” I Vant To Bite Your Finger was a cross between Don’t Wake Daddy and the old-timey game Funny Fingers.

Board Game Geek says that while playing I Vant To Bite Your Finger, kids took turns rolling a die. The number they rolled was the number of times they had to wind up Dracula’s clock. Winding up Dracula’s clock could lead to him waking up and swinging his cape open. That was the loser’s cue to stick their little finger in Dracula’s mouth and get “bit” by his teeth (aka red felt marker tips). Oh, that Hasbro! Teaching chirrun that it’s fun to put your finger into the mouths of villains. So Cujo is snarling at you? Put your finger in that pooch’s mouth!

I Vant To Bite Your Finger didn’t last long, but if Hasbro has any back stock lying around, they should reboot the game and bring it back. Since diabetes in children is on the rise, they can turn I Vant To Bite Your Finger into a fun glucose tester. Or they can slap a blond beehive on Dracula’s head, paint his skin orange and rename the game to Ivana Bite The Diamonds Off Your Vinger.

Pic: Real Clear

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