In light of what’s been going on in Hollywood lately, the upcoming Harry Potter movie Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald sounds a lot more sinister when you accidentally type Fantastic Breasts. Maybe that’s why Entertainment Weekly asked Fantastic Beasts director David Yates about the decision to keep Johnny Depp on in a featured role (he plays the titular Grindelwald) in the upcoming sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (yup, that also sounds icky if you add the errant “R“) despite allegations of physical and emotional abuse leveled against him by ex-wife Amber Heard. EW wanted to know why Johnny got a pass.
“Honestly, there’s an issue at the moment where there’s a lot of people being accused of things, they’re being accused by multiple victims, and it’s compelling and frightening. With Johnny, it seems to me there was one person who took a pop at him and claimed something. I can only tell you about the man I see every day: He’s full of decency and kindness, and that’s all I see. Whatever accusation was out there doesn’t tally with the kind of human being I’ve been working with.”
According to Yates, Johnny Depp farts rainbows and burps butterflies. How quaint! He makes it sound as if some rando struck Johnny across the face with a silk glove on the street one day as he was taking his evening constitutional. How sublimely rude!
Yates then pointed out that many of Johnny’s ex-lady friends have supported him and deemed him to be a very fine gentleman indeed. What’s more, Yates feels that since there’s no pattern of abuse, just an isolated glove strike, the issue of Johnny’s past troubles is moot. Speaking of the types of rapscallions and lecherous ne’er do wells who’ve been outed in the news of late, Yates said ”Johnny isn’t in that category in any shape or form. So to me, it doesn’t bear any more analysis. It’s a dead issue.”
And with that he doffed his hat, adjusted his tie, clicked his heels and turned to go. Just then a monstrous belch of wine stained, drunken butterflies emanated from Johnny’s nether regions and pierced the night sky with gentlemanly aplomb. Both men giggled most boyishly and walked away.